Where I work you cannot see the sun.
Where I work people use words like leverage. They do not appear to denote anything.
Where I work everyone sits in a little cube in the middle of which is a little monitor on which they can look at the surveillance image of themselves sitting in a little cube in the middle of which is a little monitor on which they are looking at a surveillance image all day if they want to.
Where I work when it rains you can hear in detail water flowing through a basement amplification chamber. It is like being in the drain of a sink has become a tourist attraction.
Where I work everyone pretends they are somewhere else.
Sounds like this person works in a prison under a mountain.
I enjoyed the symmetry of this one.
Usually i’m on the side of slightly asymmetrical symmetry, but did you try making this one more symmetrical? I think the most obvious way to do that is to prune a bit out of the water and drain part. When i did that, the parallel with the 2nd “where i work” stood out more.
Great prose.
Love the movement of this one.
Loved this, especially the 3rd para, which evokes Escher. Peace…
thanks very much.
guy: i was working with the cadences mostly. i didnt think about the symmetry so much in the terms you outline..but they’re interesting, those terms. so now i’m tinkering with the piece a bit. fun.
yeah, the cadences and the other idea behind the piece was to make my coworkers laugh. the bit about the drain is a straight-forward description of what it sounds like in the basement of one of the buildings when it rains. it’s the strangest sound. i think that’s the detail that made the coworkers laugh so much. or maybe they liked the piece. hard to say.