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He asked if I wanted to try some but I wasn’t sure. He said it would be okay, so I took a drag and it hurt my throat so much that I thought I was going to cough my lungs right out. So then he said I could try it without it making me cough. He blew the smoke into my mouth. I really liked him putting his lips on mine, you know, I sort of pretended that he was kissing me. We chatted for a bit and I started to feel really good, you know, relaxed, so I asked for another one. This time when he blew it into my mouth we started really kissing. We kissed for so long. I felt good. Then he started touching me. It felt nice. He was hot and breathless. While he was kissing me he started to press against me. He said he would be gentle. Afterwards he said how wonderful and how beautiful I was but we should keep it a secret because my friends might call me names. Then said we should get back to the party. Later, when I was in bed and the last of the guests were leaving, I heard him say to dad, “You have a beautiful daughter. You’ll be fighting off the boys calling for her when she gets older”. |
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Keep it Secret by Annette Rohde
Filed under Annette Rohde
Well, this chilled me when I first read it … so deceptively simple and almost fun for a while … the power really is in the last paragraph. Awful and wonderful.
Thanks Matt. Your encouragement and feedback has been very much appreciated.
Oh, that ending. This is heartbreaking.
Scary. And so well put.
WOW! Succinct and Chilling. You capture an essence of abuse Annette. My being trembled.
Thanks Trina. I wander how you would feel if you read the other versions as they had quite a different twist.
Charmingly horrific? I can’t think of a phrase to say how many contradictory ideas you pulled off with this one… Excellent writing!
Thanks very much. Really appreciate your comments. It is the first time I have put something up for strangers to read so I was very apprehensive. I hope I can keep it up.
Brilliantly crafted. The subtlety of the abuse makes this just so much more brutal. When she gets older? That line froze me.
Thanks Al. For my first piece submitted it is great to get this type of feedback.
First time? Well, you’re off to a really great start.
This one stabbed me in the gut. Brilliant ending, and chilling. Peace…
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Certainly packs a punch.