Category Archives: Steven Stucko

Boat On The Water was my loyal companion for the most trying three years of my life. The handsome lab witnessed my last year drinking and my first two years of sobriety. Excruciatingly challenging times is no overstatement, a sentiment … Continue reading →

She would ding when she should dong, dang when she should have rang, and sometimes would clang for no apparent reason. Emily had been in the Amherst Women’s Club bell choir for thirty-five years and now her hearing was failing. … Continue reading →

“What’s your safe word?” “My what?” “Your safe word. For when you want me to stop doing whatever I’m doing.” Ernie and Bert had decided to spice up their sex lives by investing in some leather gear ordered from an … Continue reading →

She had a bad haircut and her ears were clearly in need of a Q-tip. Her name was Brenda. We were in line for ReoSpeedwagon tickets chatting about our mutual love for the Wagon, how many shows we’ve seen, and … Continue reading →

As I rounded the corner I saw her fiery house fold like a lawn chair and slam hissing into the swimming pool. The following day’s headline would read: “Dog Drowns in Fire” because it was true and because everyone loves … Continue reading →

A man wearing one of the ubiquitous Jason Mraz fedoras and sits next to a man snapping his newspaper, trying to find the fold. He tosses the paper, dated 9/2/10, on the seat and the hat man reads the headline … Continue reading →

She works at a store that sells inflatable palm trees and cat wall clocks with eyes that move back and forth.* My big (but younger) sister will rue the day she gave this girl my phone number. I now receive … Continue reading →

I peed next to Buzz Aldrin last year. We were at adjacent urinals at Foxwoods casino, struck up a conversation and decided to have a drink: soda (we’re both sober). It was hard not to be all gee-whizzy and gush … Continue reading →

I can’t wait for her PSAT results. I can’t wait for someone to clearly explain magnetism to me so I really get it. I can’t wait for 2012 to be over. I can’t wait for my meds to kick in. I … Continue reading →