Fancy Me by R.G. MacLeod

Yes she does.  They all do.  I glanced up when Mona came in.

“I’ll be with you shortly,” I say, “just stuffing Mrs. Pennywhistle’s loins.”

Mrs. Pennywhistle turned to her and remarked: “Mr. Johnson has a way with my loins, they’re always so moist and tender.  And just last week Mr. Pennywhistle came home as I was laying my breasts out on the counter and he remarked on how big and plump and firm they were, so much nicer than before I started coming to Mr. Johnson for my needs. I then told Mr. Pennywhistle that if he liked my breasts, he should see my rump and thighs.”

Mona smiled at Mrs. Pennywhistle then turned to me.

“I hope you’ll be able to satisfy me as well as you do Mrs. Pennywhistle.”

“I keep all of the women in this town quite happy, makes their husbands as well.”  So many men bought pints to thank me for servicing their wives.  Only yesterday Jimmy Theakston bought me four rounds raving about how his wife loves my big juicy sausage.  “Oh, and your balls are exquisite,” he said, “so moist and tender, almost too big to fit in my mouth.”

Mrs. Pennywhistle left, Mona said “I need a big bone for my schnauzer.”

As I got my bone near the back door I looked at the “A” and “T” that had fallen from my sign and wondered when I’d have the time to re-hang them.

3 Comments

Filed under R.G. MacLeod

3 responses to “Fancy Me by R.G. MacLeod

  1. That was freakin’ brilliant! You don’t even need the last line. The whole thing works beautifully. Well done!

  2. guy

    Quite fun. I like the bit about the sign. I’m a sucker for that kind of language game.

  3. R.G. MacLeod

    Don’t need the last line?

    “As I got my bone near the back door ” is the best double entendre in the whole thing.

    Seriously though, thank you for the compliments.

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