A figure in a dirty shirt and pyjamas puts a sandaled foot tentatively
through the tobacconist’s broken window. He holds a coffee pot in one
hand, a cigarette in the other. He joins a fire-tender in the circle of
chairs besides the barricade. Nods and glances suffice; it is as yet too
early to talk. Others join them as the cicadas begin their chorus. One
of the newcomers distributes mugs.
The barricade is a row of cars on their sides. The cars are all black,
charred, but only one still smokes from its glassless side window. The
source of the smoke is a growing pile of cigarette butts within the
car. From time to time, one of the coffee drinkers flicks a butt through
the open window.
The cicadas grow louder.
7 responses to “Good Morning by Guy Yasko”
Very Evocative Guy, I’m glad to discover your blog.
The setting was revealed beautifully. Great way to paint the scene.
i keep flipping the last two sentences of the first paragraph around, trying to figure out if the cicadas could be made a symmetrical element and if doing that changes the effect. i’m not sure. it’s fun to play around with. i think i like symmetries like that too much sometimes.
well done, sir.
Thanks everyone. Nice to see you here, Tobin. (still up for lunch sometime.)
Steve — i did that, too. Obviously i went with the somewhat asymmetrical version. The cicadas grow louder, so maybe they should have more of a presence at the end. Also, sometimes i think it is enough to suggest symmetry. It’s there as a possibility.
Very visual. Very powerful. Peace…
Definitely still up for lunch Guy, absolutely. I’ll let you know, Friday’s are best. I’ll drop you a line.
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