Phone Solicitation by Christian Bell

Hello?
Tell me you’re wearing a ——-
What?  Who is this?
Just tell me you’re wearing a ——-
This is lewd,  This is offensive.  This is disgusting.
If you’re not wearing a ——-, please hang up, put one on, and call me back.  My number is ###-####.
Is this ——-?  I told you not to contact me.  Do I have to call the police again?
No need for guesses.  Just answer the question, please.
If this is my stepfather, I’m going to puke.
Look, are you wearing a ——- or not?  I have other calls to make.
I could just hang up.  Why don’t I hang up?  I have this problem—I can’t hang up.
You’re compelled.  You’re smitten.  A yes or no—that’s what I’m looking for.
I’m home alone.  I just vacuumed the couch.  After I eat a sandwich, I’m going to scrub the toilet.
I could make assumptions from this response but I need hard yes or no confirmation.

I could be lying either way.  What if I just lied?
Look, I know we’re total opposites but we could be good together.  We could meet at the local —–, grab a drink, get donuts, fantasize.

Donuts?  What the hell’s wrong with you?  Goodbye.
Wait!  Let me sing a song.  Let me put my love into you, babe.  Let me cut your cake with my—
I’m hanging up.  Goodbye.

Wait!  What you’re wearing now, is there skin showing?  How about showing some —-?
[Click].

2 Comments

Filed under Christian Bell

2 responses to “Phone Solicitation by Christian Bell

  1. The way you left out the dialogue tags makes the nature of the callers more enigmatic. Is it a man calling a woman? another man? Who knows, but its fun to imagine.

    The person should have told them to hold on a minute, then left the phone off the hook while they watched a movie. hehe

    Well written.

  2. Pingback: #10 – Union of Opposites « 52|250 A Year of Flash

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