Redeye Rabbit by Dorothee Lang

I knew it was just a matter of time. And sure enough, one March morning, I woke up sneezing again, stumbled into the bathroom and roamed the shelf. No allergy pills left.

The pharmacy was still closed, so I went to the bakery. The woman behind the counter looked just like me: Redeyed and sneezing.

“Two croissants”, I said, and pulled out a fiver.

“I don’t have change,” she cautioned. “It’s one crap morning. I need to go to the bank, but I am alone.”

Then she looked at me. Our red eyes were meeting.

“I could go,” I offered. Still not sure where that came from, but there I was, all hard-shell, soft-core boyscout.
She handed me a fifty.

I walked away. She doesn’t even know my name, I realized. Not that the fifty would get me anywhere. That thought in mind, I entered the bank.

My vision was kind of blurred – I didn’t notice the big rabbit with the gun until I queued behind it.

“One hundred,” the rabbit said to the cashier.

“Euro, Dollar or Yen?”

The rabbit scratched his big ears. “How would I know?”

I looked at the fifty in my hand, poked the rabbit, and handed him the note. In exchange, I took his gun, and robbed the bank for good.

“And now?” asked the rabbit once I was done.

“Now we’ll walk out of this sorry day,” I told him.

And so we went, sneezing.

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8 Comments

Filed under Dorothee Lang

8 responses to “Redeye Rabbit by Dorothee Lang

  1. *snort*
    That was cute. I wonder if he’s allergic to rabbits too?

  2. Read the “wedeye wabbit” story before and still makes me laugh– adorable

  3. Very cute. But I’ll never look at my local bunnyman the same again. Peace…

  4. thanks for the comments!

    i meant to add: the rabbit first appeared in “Mafia Marriage” by Marcus Speh, that’s where the gun came from– story chain reaction.

  5. Al McDermid

    I love how this went from zero to surreal. Very funny and well executed.

  6. Darryl P.

    I thought this was a fun and unexpected.

  7. Matt Potter

    I just re-read this and got it! Have been ill myself so that might explain it. I loved the sense of camaraderie (unsure if that is quite the right word?) at the beginning and then how she instantly switches allegiances once the context changes.

  8. Pingback: Week #12 – Allergic Reactions « 52|250 A Year of Flash

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