Write by Matt Potter

I pasted a sample paragraph of my writing on the website Who do you write like?.

The response was immediate. I suddenly saw myself in long beard and flowing tunic, dispensing wisdom and loaves and fishes.

Switching off the computer, I caught my enigmatic smile on the blank screen.

My wife hurried past, holding an empty tray. “What’re you smiling at?”

She disappeared, no time for an answer, door slamming.

I sat, considering this new enormity. I could found my own religion. Some man – prophet, seer, philosopher – develops a system of thinking and wham! they’re building worship centres and theme parks and re-naming interstate highways after him.

Makes you think.

My wife hurried through again, tray stacked high with plates.

“I pasted a paragraph of my writing on the website Who do you write like? and it said I write like The Bible.”

She glanced as I followed her into the kitchen. She put the tray down, filled the coffee machine with tap water, spooned coffee into the two-cup filter, stamped it down vehemently, snapped the filter holder into place, flicked the on-switch, and stood, waiting for the first hiss.

She looked me in the face. “So I guess you’ll be starting your own religion, then?”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because I did the same thing and it said I write like the Dalai Lama, so I thought we should move to Tibet. Coffee?”

Normally I’m allergic to bullshit but sometimes it can be a sneaky bitch.

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14 Comments

Filed under Matt Potter

14 responses to “Write by Matt Potter

  1. guy

    Well the obvious move is to paste this one in. I get Cory Doctorow. Hmm…

  2. Someone help me, please. I got ‘Dan Brown.’ :(

    I think I’m going to go drown my sorrows with chocolate now, thank you.

    Oh, btw, excellent flash! The last line was a killer. :D

    • Matt Potter

      Thank you – I really got (almost!) excited when I saw the website, and less so when I really did get Stephen King and Dan Brown, for two different passages. Which raised endless questions, of course, as to why and how?! Yes, chocolate works too.

    • Matt Potter

      Thank you – I really got (almost!) excited when I saw the website, and less so afterwards … it just raised endless questions, of course, as to why and how?! Yes, chocolate works too.

    • Al McDermid

      Dan Brown? You might want to seek professional care. I know I’d go screaming into the night. :)

  3. Al McDermid

    Killer finish. I went to site, posted a paragraph fashioned after Raymond Chandler and got Stephen King. Then I posted one obviously influenced by Richard Brautigan and got Chandler! I guess I’m allergic too it as well.

    I love your take on it though, ‘I write like God; I should start a religion.’

    And the wife’s response at the end.

    • Matt Potter

      Oh, your comment made me laugh out loud, so thank you. Yes, I had the idea that the wife – usually involved in more practical matters – has spent much of their marriage seeing to ‘real things’ while the husband has been off gazing somewhere …

      • Al McDermid

        I wonder if a guy that says “Normally I’m allergic to bullshit” is less allergic than he thinks.

        Also wonder how long before those running that site figure we’re on to them.

  4. Ha, this is sooooo good and funny. The last line is killer.

    I went to the site a couple fo weeks ago, and I got Chuck Pahalniuk, but only after getting Stephen King and JK Rowling many times first.

    At least Dan Brown makes oodles of dollars! Great flash. peace…

    • Matt Potter

      Thank you – you write these pieces and think they are funny and then time sets in and you start to wonder … am always happy that people find my pieces amusing. Perhaps we should enter a different piece every day and keep on doing so until we are finally happy with the result. Unless it keeps getting worse and one day you get Jackie Collins ….

  5. Pingback: Week #12 – Allergic Reactions « 52|250 A Year of Flash

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