My eyes are red and hot, my nose is stuffed. My tongue is beginning to swell. I’m acutely aware of my lungs. They feel spongy and sore. My lips feel massive. My head feels thick. My eyes feel very heavy.
I know if I look in the mirror, I’ll be slightly flushed, but I’m not looking for a mirror. I am wondering if I have put my tablets into this handbag.
I’m generally so careful before leaving home. I have a mantra. Check lippy, grab sunnies. Find keys, house remote (to get past the security system), licence, cell phone, money and pill box (shake to hear the tablet). All into my handbag and off I go.
It’s so simple. Till today.
Do I call an ambulance or go home fast. If I call an ambulance and I don’t react badly this time (and that has happened), I’ll feel stupid. I’ll be angry at myself for wasting St John’s time.
With cell phone in hand, heart in mouth, finger on emergency, I walk to the car.
There’s a tablet in the glove box. Thank goodness I have a backup system.
I lay back, give it time to work.
Twenty minutes pass, half an hour.
Pulse is normal. Eyes are focused, breathing isn’t too laboured.
I can drive.
I’m safe. I’m alive. I can breathe without thinking of every breath. I’m scared again.