Freud by Susan Tepper

Neal is smearing mayo on his sandwich. I’m going to puke, you say, mustard goes on that Italian stuff. You’re on the down low, he tells me. I can’t be on the down low, I’m a girl. Girl-shmirl. He adds more mayo. Anybody can be on the down low. I don’t get you, I say. It’s mustard for cured meats and Italian cheeses. Who made those rules? he wants to know. The same person who made the down low rules. You have sperm aversion, he says. What do you mean? You hate mayo, you hate sperm. Who says? Doctor Freud. Doctor Freud hated mayo? How the hell should I know? This is getting confusing. Yeah, he says and takes a big bite. Oh, disgusting, I say. Yeah, want some?

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13 Comments

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13 responses to “Freud by Susan Tepper

  1. guy

    Mayo is always wrong. Simple, nothing complicated about it.

    Some friends used to joke about not letting their boyfriends eat celery because it made their semen taste bad. Mayonnaise must have a similar effect.

  2. Celery … I heard that about porn stars, but also that they should eat lots of pineapple or drink lots of pineapple juice) for just the opposite reason – lots of volume and sweet-tasting. What a wacky story, it made me smile. “This is getting confusing” was the best for me.

  3. Al McDermid

    Sandwich envy! So funny. I love it, especially enjoyed narration and dialog all in one go.

  4. Nicely done, Susan. I like the revelation of character through food–it’s once of my favorite literary tools!

  5. A solid fat mix of egg and milk – ugh. And the double meaning? Double ugh!

    Well well played, if somewhat gross. Mayo- ew! :)

  6. Quenby Larsen

    I enjoyed the “mix-up” here and the intertwining threads of reactions, responses, tangents. A verbal game. Nice.

  7. Randal Houle

    What would Freud say about that? lol
    “I can’t be on the down-low, I’m a girl.” my favorite line.

    Unrelated, why do so many people abuse that phrase? I heard the phrase d-l in a radio commercial the other day and about hit a telephone pole. Funny times.

  8. cool play with dialogue and associations. loved the ending.

  9. love this. it feels as if saw it somewhere but perhaps you just plucked it out of the collective unconscious, eh? though that’s jung not freud but both are alt.

  10. Thanks everyone who responded to my latest bit of insanity in print. Was it Jung? I don’t know much about Freud or Jung but just threw in Freud for fun. Cheers!

  11. Lot’s of fun, and love the circularity. Peace…

  12. Pingback: Week #25 – least favorite « 52|250 A Year of Flash

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