Billy the Bunny by Walter Bjorkman

Billy the Bunny never caught a break. It was a tough kindle of rabbits to be brought up in, especially as the last, and runt, of the litter.

The eldest, Peter, well none that followed reached his level of belovedness, so falling short of him was no shame. But then to be preceded in rapid succession by Thumper, Bugs & Roger, well Billy just never had a chance. Not that rabbit parents did much tendering anyway, or for very long — they were off fucking like hippies after a month or so.

But in the eyes of the public, Billy the Bunny was off the radar. He resorted to taking a gig as a model for the cheapest, hollowed-out stale chocolate Easter bunnies found in last-minute CVS gift baskets, but that paid only for services, no royalties, and the association with such a travesty was too much to bear.

So that leads us to the tragic 1974 Halloween night that found Billy crossing Brooklyn Bridge on his way to Bug’s toney Brooklyn Heights party, carrying plastic leaves of grass and muttering something about all along the watchtower, and joining the Jehovah’s Witness protection program. He was promptly arrested for public sanity, taken to Bellevue, and wound up in a ward with the cast from One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, where his scenes were left on the cutting room floor. Bob Dylan was his only visitor, but wouldn’t give him a smoke.

His current whereabouts are unknown, but no one cares.

.

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12 Comments

Filed under Walter Bjorkman

12 responses to “Billy the Bunny by Walter Bjorkman

  1. Al McDermid

    Ah, poor Billy. Very funny. Especially liked the bit about the parents.

  2. Funny and sad and ridiculous, just as many good stories are … and enjoyable and believable too.

  3. Funny! This would make a great Easter story too.

  4. Randal Houle

    like hippies, eh? nice turn. Fun read.

  5. I love all the pop culture references in this. It was so cute!

  6. Darryl P.

    This is so much fun–I wanted it to go on and on.

  7. Dawn Armstrong

    I love rabbits and I loved this story. I had a pet rabbit once named Rueben. He could have played the role of Billy in the movie version.

  8. wonderful surreal. i just read it again. this is priceless: “He was promptly arrested for public sanity, taken to Bellevue, and wound up in a ward with the cast from One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, where his scenes were left on the cutting room floor.”

  9. Very bunny! You crammed so many cultural-pop goodies in this. Peace…

  10. Pingback: Week #25 – least favorite « 52|250 A Year of Flash

  11. Walter

    Thanks for all the comments, multiplying like wabbits. Billy couldn’t even get the film noir soundtrack for the walk over the bridge, the musicians were on strike that autumn . . .

    aprreciate it.

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