der Morgenmuffel by Matt Potter

She looked at me, morning-hazy, brows skewed but hopeful.

“Frau Kanzlerin,” I said. “Be honest with them. Deutschland will love you for it and it could carry you beyond the 2013 election.”

“Ach so,” she said. She patted her hair – typically, a mid-morning mess – and sipped her seventh coffee for the day. “Dietmar, ich glaube, du hast recht. Dietmar, you are right, I think.”

I sat on the corner of her desk, and crossing my ankles and swinging my feet, looked past her hangdog wrinkles – caused by sleepless nights worrying about the Greece bail-out, immigration problems and Berlin’s shitbag local economy – and smiled. Angela Merkel can be a sweetie when she wants to be.

I patted her on the hand. “Now, we can leak it through usual channels,” I said. “Or do it officially. Or you can make a personal appearance on the new shopping channel premiering tomorrow.”

“You choose, Dietmar,” she said. “Ich bin zu müde. I am too tired.”

Leider, the new shopping channel was scrambled – another victim of the Global Financial Crisis, just another wrinkle for the hardest working woman in German politics – so she said it off-the-cuff quasi-officially in a Bunte interview: “Ich bin wohl eher ein Morgenmuffel.”

She hates mornings, she said. Next day, it made headlines in all the important newspapers, including die Berliner Zeitung. Look at her face and hair, they all said. Let her get up later and everything will get better.

Good call, though. Honesty is changing the course of history.


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12 responses to “der Morgenmuffel by Matt Potter

  1. I’ve enjoyed this story! Perceptive and funny at the same time. To me, part of the irony is that when the Greek financial crisis came to a head, the Greeks were advised to get up earlier in the morning in order to solve their problems…

  2. Kelly Grotke

    I am recalling now a conversation with a German theologian and admirer of Merkel, and thinking – yes, exactly so, hehe

    • Oh the ‘Bunte’ interview is true and the “Ich bin wohl eher ein Morgenmuffel” ‘admission’ did make big headlines earlier in the year. Am sure it was very calculated and much more so than in this story. And Angela Merkel does come in for lots of flack for being a frump … which, um, she is! Thanks for reading, you can even google “Ich bin wohl eher ein Morgenmuffel” and read all about it …

  3. This is totally fabulous, so funny and yet so believable, I love how she’s a wreck and he is her helpmate, but I also love his sarcastic approach to her (in his mind). The real-life details are perfectly integrated which adds additional zest to this great story!

  4. Luisa

    I LOVE this, Potter.
    You are getting even better then you were when the Kanzlerin was – oh ever so much closer by.
    And your Europen friends too…

  5. Such a great look inside the heads of the important people, and the reaction of the world. Nice!

  6. Interesting the way you mingled the German and English. :)

    • Ja, in the original the German is all italicised. On Fictionaut and my website the German is italicised and then you see the same phrase is repeated in English. Thank you for reading

  7. Honest Politicians? Not on this side of the Pond! Thanks for Sharing.

  8. Sehr, sehr gute, mein freund.

    and a crazy great response to the theme. (mein deutsch is limited). peace…

  9. Pingback: Week #26 – bad haircut « 52|250 A Year of Flash

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