Lost in Translation by Tom Allman

We sailed, at dawn, to the last outpost of the Aztec Empire. Intrepid explorers of the planet we. I the Gastronome, eating my way across six continents and Fitzhume the cunning linguist, speaking in tongues.

We arrived just in time for second breakfast. I rubbed my belly and shouted for Count Chocula. Presently they offered Fitzy and I, steaming and pink, a giant conch full of chunky and decadent chowder.

Nonplussed Fitzy attempted to teach the proud natives the vowels and consonants of other General Mills products. The throng parted and up walked our missing European friend. Oh fortunes favor, we turned and shouted in unison, “Frankenberry”!


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Filed under Tom Allman

6 responses to “Lost in Translation by Tom Allman

  1. What an amazing twist of theme with this concept!

  2. Frankenberry? I don’t know what this means, but what I do know is that I liked this story a lot, it made me smile wryly – or wryly smile – and wondered it was overtly or covertly sexy … after reading twice more, I still can’t decide which …

    • LOL, I wasn’t actually going for sexy, Matt. I’ve just always wanted to use the phrase “cunning linguist”. Also the image of natives offering a conch shell is kinda provacative. OMG, maybe I’m a dirty old man. Actually the Count Chocula reference comes from ordering a bowl of Conch Chowder from a Cuban lass in Key Largo many years ago and the botched translation. Peace.

    • Sorry Matt, Frankenberry and Count Chocula are horrible breakfast cereals based on Frankenstein and Dracula. I didn’t realize that this community was truly international in scope.

  3. I liked the string of metaphors. The part about eating the way across six continents made me smile.

  4. Pingback: Week #27 – lost in translation « 52|250 A Year of Flash

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