New Love by C.J. Rakay

There’s nothing better than new love, except maybe breakfast for dinner. I was enjoying both. The incandescently lovely woman across the table, so adorably trying to decide between bacon or sausage (while the waitress bounced from one foot to another) was Annie; a five-foot nothing, blonde headed, blue eyed, smart as a whip, fireball who had embezzled the whole of my heart…a crime I enthusiastically applauded.

I love the sound of Annie’s voice, her infectious laugh, and how when she’s thinking, she bites her soft lower lip with a line of perfect white teeth.

Over dinner/breakfast we talked nonstop; about her entering law school next month, about me starting my new job downtown and, oh yes, how tonight she will definitely bake that pie she’s been promising —apple.

I threw thirty bucks on the table and we scooted out into the crisp Colorado cold. Annie linked my arm tightly and made the “brrrr” sound as we did the walk-snuggle thing heading to the bus stop. I said something funny; I can’t remember exactly, but I remember saying, “…sounds a little like Bob Dylan”. She shot me a smile I could feel in my hip pocket and laughed, “God, I hope not!”

I heard a baritone rumble. Then felt nothing. There was a tiny light; like a flashbulb sparkle. Utter silence. Then just black. I felt nothing at all. I knew I was gone. I don’t know what happened to Annie.

I never saw the truck. I hope she did.


Return to This Week’s Flash


Filed under C.J Rakay

14 responses to “New Love by C.J. Rakay

  1. Al McDermid

    Of course. It was just going to well. Anyway, a well-told tale, full of great bits; especially liked ‘except maybe breakfast for dinner’ and the impatient waitress.

  2. Your focus on brilliant details lulled us into an expectation of a happy ending–even our suspicions were fading when you hit us with the end. Nicely done.

  3. Len

    nice juxatposition. well told throughout.

  4. I never saw the truck coming either. Ouch! Great story.

  5. Kim Hutchinson

    Beautiful with a heartbreaking but grounded ending. Very nice.

  6. CJ Rakay

    Thanks everyone for your kind remaks ( Uh..I meant “remarks”.) Al, hope you are doing well. I speak to our old buddy Paschal on a pretty regular basis….

  7. This piece had such a lovely set-up and the transition felt so real. The “accident” (I don’t believe in them, per se) at the end was nicely, albeit tragically balanced with the rest of the relationship details.

  8. CJ Rakay

    Thanks Robert for your nice comments. Much appreciated!

  9. Charlie Girl

    Chuck, great job. Tight and efficient, as a Flash must be. Very sly use of tense to lull us where we knew not. Favorite choices: “incandescently lovely,” “embezzled the whole of my heart,” “the walk-snuggle thing…”

    One I liked but couldn’t place was “a smile I could feel in my hip pocket.” Remember how Marwood Yeatman used to say that one experiences lust in the stomach and not the loins? Both of you always had a way of stopping me up short. Now, could our old Marwood be THIS Marwood???

    It certainly could be, and if so, you and Bill must take credit for transforming this amusing, fascinating scoundrel of the upper classes into a nascent foodie in your London kitchen…

  10. I never saw that truck …

  11. Great tragic ending. I hope they both ended up in the same place. Peace…

  12. Pingback: Week #31 – Missed the bus | 52|250 A Year of Flash

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s