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I missed the bus staggering through the pages in silver ink: a jolly vehicle that rocks along the highway into the morning mist, on the lookout for gullible souls who will come on board to share a silence that will weigh heavy on the empty seats if its solitude goes on for just a little longer. The bus is not meant to be lonely. Neither is the girl who is waiting for me at the other end of the story. She stands hopeful in a pink wool coat, against the color of mercury which has taken over the daybreak. On a fine day she is the messenger of good tidings: fine and sunny, windy and dry. Even her voice rings with what she leaves unsaid: today is the day when you seek your pleasure out there in this world, for you are only living for the day you die. On a stormy day there is a slight crack in her voice. In the enclosed room. Over the radio. In the air that we breathe, on disappearing streets to the limits of our memories. We lose one another in the loss of hope. The girl does not like it, but it is her job to be neutral. She boards the bus every morning to reach her stop. Today she is waiting for me, but I cannot hold her. We are not supposed to meet. |
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That Girl by Nicolette Wong
Filed under Nicolette Wong
What a gem! I love the way it is told and the atmospheric ride on the page. Thank you, Nicolette.
This is so beautifully lyrical, so intricate. And so many details upon which I could comment, but this is my favorite: ‘Even her voice rings with what she leaves unsaid: today is the day when you seek your pleasure out there in this world, for you are only living for the day you die.’
(Good to see you back.)
There’s an anthology within these words, on this bus. Love the questions it raises, the tone and the lyrical voice. Nice work, Nicolette.
thank you everyone for your kind words!!! and happy to be back to. it’s a bit of an accidental piece of writing that i did when i was very grumpy on one day… let me go check you guys’ works out over the weekend :)
“you are only living for the day you die”
Excellent piece for sure. Keep it up.
If I were a few thousand miles closer, I would meet her in your place. Nice piece, Nicole.
lovely tone throughout. i like your use of color in the beginning, and the weather elements. felt like a song blurred by a windy day. nice job.
lovely and lyrical. the line ‘she stands hopeful in a pink coat’ gets to me for some reason. peace…
Loved the part about pages in silver ink. I read this twice, and I’m still not sure I ‘get’ it. But I think it’s absolutely beautiful. Thank you for sharing it.
Lovely piece. I especially liked the line about losing one another in the loss of hope.
read this at fnaut and commented – eerie atmosphere here, love this piece.
I also read this at Fictionaut…loved it the first time and again on this read, also. I like how you dive right into the deep end, and stay there, and the water is just murky enough for us to wonder. And the shades of color, weather, amorphous atmosphere. Delicious.
The best line for me: ‘Neither is the girl who is waiting for me at the other end of the story.’
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