The couple exits the lobby and its Christmas music and steps into the — When are you coming back? He stares at horses in the field beyond the fence. The horses are — Do you love me? He looks at her and sees the snow falling on her hot cheek. He resists |
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Silence by Guy Yasko
Filed under Guy Yasko
So short, and yet so much said with just a few words.
Actions speak louder than words. Pensive mood. Perfect. Peace…
So tender and melancholy. ‘He resists the urge to brush it off.’ is so tell, and ends it perfectly.
Just so you know, Al, for me the snowy landscape is somewhere in the Yatsugatake in January.
I think this was influenced by a couple of the more obscure Naruse movies that i translated.
Nice. The quickness of movement through the quiet background, really nice.
“…brush it off.” I have a pretty certain idea of what comes next.
And is there any image that captures silence quite so well as snow falling at night?
These days there is always snow in my field of vision. It’s bound to work itself into the writing somehow. I was worried that it might be a tad too appropriate and therefore too obvious & overused. I went with it because i don’t trust my gut instincts.
Thank you all for the reads & comments.
The silence that speaks volumes. Very powerful ending.
The white, empty space is used so craftily in this, the pared down details, just enough. Dazzling, and daunting.
A flash of still, cold beauty. Thank you.
nice weighty compact little piece, think it expands in the telling so well because it evokes the familiar
i like this.
i like the way it stages attention gaps (on his part) in the interaction in a way that allows readers to project their own back stories and so to turn them into other types of distance in the way that an amplifier turns one type of signal into another.
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