Welcome to our community by Matt Potter

“Yeah, she’s a real slut,” many contestants’ mothers say.

“If he could only keep it in his pants, he’d probably be able to stay in the country,” others say about their sons.

I sit in my beanbag, sipping beer and semi-flaccid, watching the new dating show Loose Connections, previewing it for a local community TV channel. I have to give it its correct classification. So I’m the one who decides which large letter flashes on your TV screen, and if you should send your kids out of the room now.

To become a contestant on the show, people you know have to answer a series of questions about you: this includes people you’ve had sex with, people who’ve watched you have sex with others, people from your church, and your parents. (It’s a New Zealand production.)

Once you’re on the show, it’s downhill – or even further downhill – from there.

What sort of people will watch this new low in trash-TV? Sad fucks, that’s who; people who have nothing better to do than sip beer late at night while lying in beanbags trying to muster the energy to rub one off.

I put my beer down and looking at my clipboard of guidelines, close my eyes and stab the page with my pen. G, for general exhibition.

OK, it’s not a foolproof system. But I’m also on the station’s Publicity Committee and being so far down on the dial, we need all the publicity we can get.


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Filed under Matt Potter

10 responses to “Welcome to our community by Matt Potter

  1. Ha! This one made me smile.

  2. A tongue-in-cheek commentary on society, methinks! Nice, Matt.

  3. I like this roll you are on with the TV theme!
    This is wonderful. I saw him in that room, a kind of dissipated man and mind, doing his mindless work.

  4. Ha, I actually wrote the two stories out of / not in sequence, and realised only last week the TV theme in both.

  5. Haha! Very funny Sir. Is the opposite of semi-flacid semi-erect? Got a bang out of that phrase. Peace…

  6. Semi-flaccid! And he works in publicity no less. Hilarious.

  7. Matt DeVirgiliis

    Matt, this is so funny. Sad. But funny.

  8. Kim Hutchinson

    Funny, sad and to the point! It made me laugh out loud.

  9. Matt, you are hilarious, and yet the pathos of darkness, or sad energy hides underneath the quippy characterization. Kind of like life that way. Well done.

  10. Pingback: Week #35 – Loose connections | 52|250 A Year of Flash

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