She’s crashing. It’s not a mechanical or a drug induced crash. On the contrary – it’s a crash that could be stopped by pharmaceuticals. The right one in the right dosage, of course. She’s sick of experimenting. You see, she has a loose connection in her brain. The wires don’t connect and her emotions short out. At times she feels like her world has been pulled out from under her and her heart has been pulverized into bits. The mental ache is often accompanied by a feeling of intense, searing pain that courses through her body. Other times she feels nothing at all, a blankness, like looking into a pitch black ocean at night. She feels as if the water is beckoning her to come in. It calls out to her as a mother calls out to her lost child. Those are the times she should worry. But she can’t because she has no sense of feeling, no awareness of fear. This is the nature of her crash right now. This is the time she could walk right into that ocean and go home.