JANE DOE by Marcus Speh

This woman, she made me feel bad whenever I would meet her, even though I loved her, she said.

I think I know what you mean, I said. There are people who just aren’t good for us even though they may be good people.

Exactly, she said, took a ribbon between her teeth and put her hair in a bun.

Why do you do that, I said.

I don’t like the feeling of my hair on my neck after making love, she said.

Love, I said. Love, love, love, I shouted. She laughed.

You’re such a cutie, she said. I pouted.

I am serious, I said. I love loving you. You’re like a hind, I said. All graceful strength, gliding muscle.

And you’re the hunter, she said, aren’t you. She laid a cool finger on my chin: get that lip down and come here, sportsman.

Later I sought her fingers, which were still wet from the forest floor. Sleeping, she panted, her nostrils wide and round, small caves, hollows to my heart.

.

Return to This Week’s Flash

16 Comments

Filed under Marcus Speh

16 responses to “JANE DOE by Marcus Speh

  1. Poetry in this was so good, and the way there are together is strange, compelling. You seem to be dissolving reality into the natural world lately. folding them together. I have seen this in more than one story. very nice thing to end with.

  2. oh, susan, how kind and attentive you are. thank you for this comment! a great beginning to my day…

  3. This flows effortlessly, you can feel the sensuality. Love that you used ‘hind’, which is such an old-fashioned word. The last graf moved me, almost to tears. Dunno why, but it did. Peace…

  4. i agree with susan and i also loved the use of “hind.” it was clever and demonstrates a strong command of language. the “put you lip down” and “flared nostrils” were other great bits as well.

    • thank you, len. when commenters quote lines i feel called upon to read my own stuff again, which is nice, as if through someone else’s eyes. this is like getting to eat your cake … twice.

  5. So much about this that i love, mastery of repartee and surprise of language and the underlying theme lingering in the sub-text. A great command of language and how lovers relate (or not) in the basking of intimacy.

  6. I really enjoyed this take on the theme. Sexy and fun.

    • i appreciate it, gany, sexy is, of course, particularly relevant in this context…makes me think of the fact that animals are sexy without even trying while we (often) try so hard…

  7. yes, sexy and surprising. loved this line, and the way the forest half sentences adds a whole untold story: “Later I sought her fingers, which were still wet from the forest floor.”

  8. John Riley

    Love the title and agree about the use of “hind.” It’s the word in this piece that lifts it right off the screen. So much deep feeling and mystery in so few words. This sort of piece is why I’m coming to love flash so much. Thanks.

  9. Deliciously ethereal and oh so poetic. I’m enjoying your deer very much.

  10. Nicolette Wong

    I’ve read this twice – very apt!

  11. Pingback: Week #26 – Animal behavior | 52|250 A Year of Flash

Leave a Reply to LindaSW Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s