How to write a bad flash:
1. Think about the theme, animal behavior
2. Make a mind leap to an obscure phrase about logic and probability that involves animals, to whit:
“Put a million monkeys in front of a million computers (typewriters) and sooner or later one will write the complete works of Shakespeare.”
keeping in mind that each keystroke has about a one in thirty-five chance, with all the punctuations, of being correct and in all of Shakespeare – ten million keystrokes? more? The statement is still correct.
3. The statement is about chance, not really animal behavior, so apply some, and have the monkey observing the humans as much as they are observing it.
4. Write about what monkeys do – beat off, throw shit.
5. Finish with a brilliant ending where it types the last line of Hamlet perfectly while doing its animal behavior, and blow the last letter. Then throw the shit at the crying researchers.
6. Result: Steps 2 – 5 are brilliant in concept and execution. But, see 7:
7. No one will make the obscure mind leap you did, they all have their own obscurities running around in their heads, and you do nothing to bring yours to light, making it a so what story where it takes all the way to the end to even realize it is a chimp that is thinking here, and not a sperm cell.
8. mmm – maybe if I change it to “To be or not to bz” . . .