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If Wishes Were Horses The train was late; it gave her more time to fight the tears. Towns passed the window. People. Families. Homes. She’d left hers behind again. Tomorrow, she would be a professional, forcing her smile to rise above her heavy heart. She closed her eyes and wished it were the last time. Last Date “This is why I came here,” says the man from Montreal. He points to a Facebook photo of a woman from Missouri. “We thought the border could be our place, but… His eyes are red. He falls asleep as soon as the train starts to move. His fingers caress the keyboard. |
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Two Short Views on a Long Train Ride by Kim Hutchinson
Filed under Kim Hutchinson
wonderful connection to the theme. reading the scenes seperately and taken together, moving away/toward, the distance…all great.
reading it, i could almost see it. interesting format, the 2 scenes, like inversed mirrors, the train (or narrative) moving, passing towns, lives.
the mirror quality was strong in this piece, and I wondered about the two of them: the walking wounded.
Good story!
Thanks for the great comments, Randal, Dorothee and Susan! Glad you liked it!
I used to commute by Metro North every day when I lived in Manhattan, to Connecticut and back (1 1/2 hours one way every day). I wrote snippets just like this, and felt like both of these people at various times. I love how you captured two views, female/ male, similar yet distinctly their own. And the train…chugging along at full speed. Potent.
Ah, look at all the lonely people… You captured the theme so beautifully here, the physical and emotional distances both. Train rides are wonderous for their solitude, but so many who ride are wrecked. Beautiful duet. peace…
Lovely the way the two pov compliment each other.
lovely prose just lovely
Thanks, all for the wonderful comments! I’m honored.
I like these two together–they serve to remind us of the many stories within the one. Very well done.
Thanks for the cool observation, Darryl! Glad you liked the piece.
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Nice movement in this piece, space and time running by as these two people move through their own changes. Well done!
Thanks very much, Susan!