Fruit by Marcus Speh

Constable Cocks knew a lot of words once – words like compliableness, cantankerous and counterperformance – until one of his pals called him a talking banana with a moustache. That shocked him to the core of an existence, which had been founded on hearsay, female assistence and newspaper cuttings only, so that he had always felt frail for his lack of solid knowledge. A man can live without his right arm, his grandfather used to say, but he can’t get on in the world without a brain. But a banana didn’t have a brain. It was mushy and though it looked vaguely masculine, it felt feminine as soon as the peel was off. Constable Cocks resented his being compared to a fruit. When he got home, he threw his boots in a corner and snortily spit on the ground.

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10 Comments

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10 responses to “Fruit by Marcus Speh

  1. Though this is totally nutso, it has a certain charm that makes it memorable and him irresistible.

  2. I love how you love to play with language.

  3. Darryl P.

    This put a big smile on my face.

    • thanks darryl, it makes me smile, too…constable cocks is one of those types…in all of us. not to mention the banana with it’s untapped literary potential (of course, there’s bananafish).

  4. guy

    I loved this bit:

    “the core of an existence, which had been founded on hearsay, female assistence and newspaper cuttings”

  5. The assault on his masculinity was (I know I’m cruel here) absolutely hilarious. I’ll never look at a banana the same way again. :)

  6. grin.

    i especially liked compliableness — groovy word i shall lay on my colleagues tomorrow at our faculty meeting, hee-hee. peace…

  7. Pingback: Week #43 – To the core | 52|250 A Year of Flash

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