Rotten (a parable) by Tom Allman

Miscovitz is a vile wretch of a man. Other than his long-suffering Mother, everyone reviles him. In ’78 the Gods reached into the core of his putridness and removed his soul. When informed, his mother was inconsolable. To ease her suffering he promised to find a suitable replacement. Miscovitz traveled the world consulting sages, clerics, and prostitutes. After a few years he came to the following conclusions: that he was truly rotten, and that his immortal soul was more of a hindrance than a help. “Good riddance,” he shouted. But, he had promised his Mother. Miscovitz found a disgraced surgeon who could replace his soul for $500 cash. He grafted a mayonnaise jar into his abdomen (with the mouth and lid protruding). He told Miscovitz to write down every bad thing that he’d ever done on little pieces of paper and put them into the jar, so that whenever he did a good deed he could open the jar and throw away a sin. Miscovitz has learned no lessons. His new soul is overflowing with sinful confetti. But his Mother is happy, and the Doctor is now making millions in Hollywood.

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