He liked to sit on his balcony and watch the people go in and out of “The Blind Spot” bar across the street. He felt he knew many of the regulars, who came a few hours after sunset when the bar’s sign flashed neon red letters that lit up the street. He had worked in construction but was retired now. His knees began to give out after thirty years on the job, and when he could no longer climb ladders, he knew no one would hire him. It was a young man’s job, and he had too many years on his face to be the type of guy anyone wanted these days. His hands were gnarled from his years on the job pounding nails and laying shingles and lifting heavy coils of copper in the hot sun or the cold of winter. Often the flashing red of the bar’s sign would show upon his hands and look like blood in the cracked skin of his knuckles. He’d swig down another beer and wonder what had happened to his life. About 11:00 o’clock he’d call it a night. He’d fall asleep with the music still echoing from the bar and the red light flashing against his bedroom wall, forming bits of letters that took on odd shapes. He liked to believe the letters watched over him as he slept, filling his dreams with images as his mind surrendered to a darkness he’d accepted and no longer feared. |
. |
From the Balcony by Christina Murphy
Filed under Christina Murphy
I love how you describe his hands! Beautiful, thanks for sharing.
Thank you, Tom. It is so gratifying to have a story appreciated and especially for the images employed to convey the story’s effects.
Christina Murphy
The detail, the movement of this piece of this man’s world is exceptional.
Hello, Susan. What a very nice comment. Thank you so much. It is more of a challenge to stay inside a character’s head than to move to an external narration, so I am glad you enjoyed that.
Christina Murphy
I enjoyed reading this story and how you bring us into his world, his mind. Well written. :-)
Alexandria, I am so glad you enjoyed the story. That is the best part for any writer when someone who is reading the story finds value in it.
Christina Murphy
Such an amazing job with details and being entirely in this man’s head, world.
Hello Robert,
I was trying for conveying the “feel” and feelings of this story through the details as a small picture that conveyed more through a larger lens, so to speak. I am so glad you enjoyed the story.
Christina Murphy
This is quite wonderful, you captured the man, his life now, his history with such depth in this little space of story. I esp love the “red light flashing against his bedroom wall” which nailed the story home.
Hello Susan,
Thank you–I was hoping that the imagery at the end would pull the story together and have an effect upon the reader, so I am glad you appreciated that, and I thank you for your comment.
Christina Murphy
Such loneliness blended with acceptance.
Hello Deborah,
Yes, I was attempting to focus on and convey his loneliness as well as his acceptance of his life, so I am really pleased you saw that in the story and understood.
Christina Murphy
I liked how it seemed like it should be a depressing story but it wasn’t. :)
Hello ganymeder,
Oh, that’s wonderful because it was the effect I was hoping to achieve.
Christina Murphy
you paint some nice images. he feels familiar, someone i probably know.
Len,
That is a wonderful compliment when a character seems that real. Thank you for sharing this with me.
Christina Murphy
Lovely. Resigned, but hopeful, somehow. What a wonderful tale.
Michael,
I really appreciate your comments and your insights into the story. What you describe is exactly how I hoped the story would come across to a reader, so it is great to see what you wrote and your appreciation for the story
Christina Murphy
Pingback: Week # 47 – Blind Spot | 52|250 A Year of Flash