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I’m hypnotized, watching man fail against nature. The slim black blades frantically arc from one side of the foggy glass to the other, but they can’t compete with the relentless drumbeat of water surging from the darkened sky. The water comes much faster than the wipers can sluice it away. I can’t stop myself watching the battle as I change lanes, lazily flicking my turn indicator. I don’t see the headlights behind me until it’s too late. A horn blares and my car flips. When it’s upside-down, the wiper blades work against nothing. My hair hangs loosely against the roof of the car. I lose some time, because the next thing I know, I’m lying on rough asphalt, the rain pouring so hard into my open mouth that I gurgle. Some of the rain is hot on my face. Some of it is freezing. The red and blue lights flash against my closed eyelids. |
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Rain by Jessie Peacock
Filed under Jessie Peacock
Haunting…Thanks for sharing and welcome to 52/250.
Thank you, Tom!
you’ve handled the scene well, choosing not to focus on the violence directly, giving us instead that disjointed sense of time that follows something cataclysmic and captured vividly in the details, rain both hot and cold, spastic wiper blades and the hair hanging loosely against the roof. Welcome!
Many thanks, Doug! Always good to see what a reader likes about a piece.
This is a dark, disturbing and effectively written story. I like the entry into the piece, a great set-up for what’s to follow. The details are rife, and sensorial and I like how we are in the instant aftermath of “accident.”
Welcome to the 52/250 family!
Thanks greatly for the kind review, Robert! I’m thrilled to join the 52/250 flashers.
This story caught me off guard. The stage was set and suddenly the world was upside down, quite literally. Fantastic imagery!
Thank you, Brandy!
Nicely done, Jessie; very real and with drama that sneaks up on the reader.
This one made me very uncomfortable.
Very well described.
Thanks, all!
Marvelous job. Grabs you by the throat and doesn’t let go.
I especially love how the connection to the theme “blind spot” isn’t apparent until you think about it a minute.
And welcome aboard!
nice little bomb there at the end. i liked the sensory, tactile nature of your descriptions. way to go.
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Thank you, Michael and Len, for your encouraging words!