Mrs. Harry Lynde Bradley says, “Call me Peg.” Has a lifetime supply of Aqua Net. “She was a bitch,” her maid, Opal recalls. Daphne says, “A gem, a true-blue friend.” |
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Matron by Robert Vaughan
Filed under Robert Vaughan
Mrs. Harry Lynde Bradley says, “Call me Peg.” Has a lifetime supply of Aqua Net. “She was a bitch,” her maid, Opal recalls. Daphne says, “A gem, a true-blue friend.” |
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Filed under Robert Vaughan
I like this, I like the instant assessment of her, the things we have learned about her to decide.
Thanks so much, Susan! Your weekly comments buoy me. They are like a rock for my liquid writing state.
The switched past and present tenses threw me a little, but I loved the compact summation of her character.
Catherine, I had not even noticed the tense switch until you pointed it out here! Ha! Well, there it is. Thanks for your warm feelings about the short piece.
I like the contrapuntal “She was a bitch” from the maid. I don’t think this would work without it.
I agree, Guy. I originally write this without, and was going to continue that way, and it started to sound too much reportage in style. So I added the maids line at the end originally. Then at the Tuesday roundtable, I got the generous suggestion to insert it before Daphne’s last line. Voila! Thanks for commenting.
Robert, I like the staccato poetics of this piece and the small revelations of the person, Peg. I also like how the color blue comes through in the words “Aqua”, “true blue friend,” and the visual of Peg swimming in a fishtank. It’s like a cohesive element of this and I find it clever. I also agree with “Guy’s” comment. Great write.
Thanks Michael, love “staccato poetics,” just a wonderful comment! And I also had not noticed the bluish coloration, so your insights made me wonder if it was intentional or from some other place, that uninformed part of writing. Great pondering.
Great piece the way you have structured it. Love the Opal comment.
Theo, you have no idea how much I adore your support of my work. You are so thoughtful to take the time from your busy life to read and comment here.
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Peg was the name of my first mother-in-law! Did you meet her somewhere? Jesus! You nailed her! So funny and perfect in such a short span.
I wrote this on a day I spent at the local art museum. Peg devoted money for an entire wing and yet there was this annoying loop tape with audio that played constantly and thus the piece came from that. I swear I never met your Peg!
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