Spaces by Lou Freshwater

“March snow doesn’t fall, it dives,” Joyce said looking out the window.

“It’s pretty though. And sometimes the flakes are so big and wet they look little tea doilies,” Ellen said, looking, too.

“You always see the bright side, Ellen. Always. It could be snowing rat shit and you’d see chocolate chips.”

“You know, Joyce, I don’t always see the world like that. It’s just that I don’t see it like you do, like some dark closet that keeps shrinking all the time.”

“Whatever. There’s freedom in being a realist.”

“Are you still thinking about moving back to New Jersey? Your life would be so much better if you weren’t always scraping by.”

“New Jersey fucking sucks. It’s like some dredged up dystopian nightmare.”

“My god, Joyce, even if we weren’t born here, and even if I wasn’t raising my two children here, that would still be an awful thing to say.”

“I’m staying where I am. New York is the only place in the world that’s man enough to handle me.”

“I just want you to be happy.”

“How sweet.”

“You know, Sis, you are right, I shouldn’t be sweet, or kind to you, I
should be honest. I should say that New York doesn’t handle you it just tolerates you just like the other toxic chemicals it is forced to process day in and day out.”

“Fuck you,” Joyce said, as she wrapped her arms around herself, and
squeezed her eye shut in order to imprison the tear.

.

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10 Comments

Filed under Lou Freshwater

10 responses to “Spaces by Lou Freshwater

  1. Pingback: Spaces | Baby's Black Balloon

  2. Wow, she managed to even get Mary Poppins to tell her off. Strong stuff.

  3. OMG, that’s her being honest?! Wow, but yes — definitely a conversation between sisters. Felt this one.

  4. randalhoule

    “New Jersey fucking sucks. It’s like some dredged up dystopian nightmare.” Nice
    Liked this a lot for the conflict, and the see-sawing dialog. Cheers!

  5. steve

    Walter Bjorkman was right, this piece rocks!

  6. K

    This dialogue is very well crafted. So much is said in such few lines, so much history and emotion is conveyed in that back-and-forth. This is no easy feat, well done!
    – Karla

  7. Really love the edge here, the sister drama handled well. NYC vs NJ. Sister vs Sister. Interesting parallel!

  8. Lou

    Thank you, everyone. I truly appreciate you for reading and commenting on this. I have some things that bug me about it, so I will probably take another swing at it. But your words help.

  9. Pingback: Week #50 – Home sweet home | 52|250 A Year of Flash

  10. bulls-eye, babycakes. and the line about rat shit and chocolate chips — priceless. do you know my sister? peace…

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