Honest Intentions and All That Hooey by Susan Gibb

One night I woke up and caught my boyfriend cheating at a game of cards. I was devastated.

“It’s only Solitaire,” he said.

“It’s only Solitaire!” I cried.

“Yes!” he said.

“That’s right!” I sobbed.

We argued long and hard till dawn broke through the window, sharing its light with the walls, the floor, the cat playing with her empty food dish, but not with us. We could not see each other’s point of view. I fed the cat, packed my things and left. I mean, come on, how could I stay with such a man?

Life kept on kicking me hard after that, toppling everything I dared to touch. I was being so careful, so conscious now of playing by the rules. In fact, sabotaging my every effort at my job (I gave a rave review of a coworker that put her in a supervisory position over me), my new apartment (gave up the second floor for the first and was broken into three times in a month), and in love (answered his questions honestly, i.e., “No, you’re not the one with the biggest…”) losing each new man almost immediately.

It took a while, but I wised-up. I lied through my teeth and am now happily the head of my department, ensconced in a fully paid-for apartment on the Avenue, and am sleeping with the married CEO of the company.

Let’s just say I learned how to play my cards.

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10 Comments

Filed under Susan Gibb

10 responses to “Honest Intentions and All That Hooey by Susan Gibb

  1. Ha ha ha – loved the hysteria of the narrator, answering her own questions yet so blissfully unaware. Funny, funny, funny!

  2. Haha! I’m not sure if I feel like laughing or crying at this one!

  3. Alexandra Pereira

    Yes, funny but realistic! It’s all in how you play your cards… Really enjoyed reading this story! … Well done, Susan. :-)

  4. Ha ha, oh dear… is this what we’ve come to?! Love the blunt pragmatism of the lying section.

  5. Lou

    Nice, Susan, and may I say this is a fine example on how to use parenthesis effectively!

  6. Zoe

    I laughed so hard when reading this and by the end was frozen by the story… What a cruel, funny, real, vibrant piece!!!

  7. John Riley

    I’m with the cat. A wicked parody of self-centeredness. Enjoyed.

  8. It’s true — being good gets you nowhere fast! Hysterical story, but sad in its honesty, too. Peace…

  9. Pingback: Week #51 – Unintended Consequences | 52|250 A Year of Flash

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