The Cutting Edge by Linda Simoni-Wastila

Today my head’s at war: good versus bad, logic versus emotion, high versus low. I’m in the middle of my raging melodrama when Patty opens our session with a cheery hello.

The others squeak back, reminding me of those sunny Happy Faces. Everyone “checks in” with what they’re feeling, doing, thinking. I slouch in my chair, transport myself to some other place, any place but here. I conjure up my kitchen, my trusty Wusthof. An excellent knife, an eight inch, ten/twelve carbon steel forged blade. Perfectly balanced. In my mind, the blade flashes bright and swift, decimating whatever lies underneath.

“Earth to Ben.” Patty interrupts my daydream. I open my eyes. “How are you today?”

I dismiss her with a wave of my hand. Laurel someone yammers about her depression. Everyone offers support. They’re so freaking chipper it makes me sadder, lonelier. Isolated in my melancholy. I continue rambling through my apartment to the bathroom, an ideator’s paradise: the hard surfaces, the mirror, the razor blades, the scalding water. The medicine cabinet: Motrin, aspirin, antihistamines, cough syrup, and lithium. Lithium will kill you, not very nicely, if you take enough of it. Inside the box of Trojans, a stash of benzodiazepines. Not enough to do me in, but taken with a glass or two of Dolce d’Alba, a hot bath, some Mahler , and the knife, they’ll make for a pleasant evening. My dark mood lifts. Yes, I think to myself, this is how I will do it.

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Filed under Linda Simoni-Wastila

8 responses to “The Cutting Edge by Linda Simoni-Wastila

  1. This paints a vivid picture of this character’s interior life. I like that you found balance in the knife.

  2. Wow. That was pretty creepy but very well written.

  3. Pingback: 6 – Balance of Terror « 52|250 A Year of Flash

  4. Al McDermid

    I love the “an ideator’s paradise”. Great image. And this, “. . . some Mahler , and the knife, they’ll make for a pleasant evening,” this is excellent, perfect in fact. Having it in the first-person present lends it tremendous impact (glad you didn’t change it).

    What’s the status of ‘Brighter than Bright”? I’d very much like to read it.

    • Hi Al! Thanks for reading this excerpt cum flash. I adore first person present, but wonder if an entire novel is too much. BTB… sigh… hid in a box this past year after revision to editorial order from a small publisher who subsequently stopped publishing because of the economy. It is now out on novel exchange with two others in hopes of dusting off for another market foray later this fall. Peace…

  5. Al McDermid

    I do hope it sees the light of day. Any chance you’ll eventually self-publish?

  6. Al McDermid

    However it comes out, I look forward to it.

    My blog? At Deviant Art?

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