Old man deodorant by Matt Potter

Pink-faced, he glowered in the corner, champagne in hand.

“I didn’t realise just how much you’d got around,” he said. “You’d only had five men when we got together.”

That was twenty-three years ago.

What could I say? Sorry my sex life has turned into a gay cliché? None of these men meant anything to me?

Bring something that will remind me of you, the invitation said. I’m turning fifty.

Even with the noise of the thousand men in the room, I could hear Jasper’s angry breathing. Had I really fucked them all?

“Who’s that anaemic-looking group over there?” Jasper pointed to a pale-faced quartet. Even in the middle of the room, they looked backlit.

“I think they’re dead,” I said. “You want me to ask?”

Jasper looked away. My heart lurched inside my chest. I wanted to put my arm around him but didn’t dare.

“I’m surprised you haven’t fucked yourself to death, too,” he added, “given your record.”

I would have said, Well, I’ve given it my best, but a well-known face walked in. Conversation lulled, just a second, as he made his way through the crowd.

He – the newest guest – was well known for a long-running series of so-bad-they-were-unintentionally-funny TV commercials. Buck, he’d say, holding a deodorant stick at the camera. For the man in you.

“You fucked old man deodorant?” Jasper smiled. Now my face turned pink.

Jasper downed his champagne. “I’m gonna see if I can score,” he said. “Some freebies.”

.

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9 Comments

Filed under Matt Potter

9 responses to “Old man deodorant by Matt Potter

  1. this is harsh but i’m writing harsh gay fuck old deodorant kind of stuff myself right now so good on ya, matt. good stuff.

  2. Well drawn scenario between old lovers, Matt. Well done.

  3. Maude Larke

    Oh, Matt! the reverse of “Three Weddings” when Hugh Grant finds himself at a table with all his ex-girls. Elements of fantasy?

  4. len kuntz

    you are so damn hysterical. this was comedic brilliance.

  5. Kelly

    I smiled, couldn’t help it

  6. haha! you really push envelopes. loved this. peace…

  7. Pingback: Week #44 – Crowd | 52|250 A Year of Flash

  8. Love this in so many ways, Matt! You rock my world. Say it, don’t spray it. LOL

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