She was already half-melted into the new dimension when he knocked on her door seeking a cup of sugar. When she answered, he was taken by surprise. For her part, she was quite nonchalant about the transition. She half-smiled, the left side of her face nearly transparent. “Come on in,” she said, swinging the door open wide and hopping back on her right leg to let him by. “I’m sorry to bother you, if you’re busy,” he said. He wasn’t sure how long the whole process took. He’d never known anyone before who’d made the shift. He couldn’t help staring. Her blouse and jeans unraveled slowly across her body like a west wind clearing the plains. As he watched, her left breast turned a silvery color, wavy like heated air rising on pavement in a hot summer sun, then disappeared. “No, it’s fine,” she said, and led the way to her small kitchenette. “I won’t be taking any of this stuff with me and I’m happy someone can use it.” She reached into a cabinet and pulled a full bag of sugar off a top shelf. She almost lost her balance. “Why are you leaving?” he asked. He was disappointed, for she was quite pretty. “New job, a promotion,” she said. “My name’s Cherise.” Her nose and mouth faded away with her words. “I’m Charlie,” he said, and caught the bag of sugar before it dropped to the floor. |
. |
Moving to Another World by Susan Gibb
Filed under Susan Gibb
So original, loved it!
Thanks, Gany–this one was fun to write!
Love the imagery — “her left breast turned a silvery color, wavy like heated air rising on pavement in a hot summer sun.” I’m reading it as a metaphor for memory, with Charlie’s memory of Cherise slowly decaying inside his mind. Great last line, too!
so beautiful, magical and surreal. i felt like i was watching this play our underwater.
love the way you spun this one out, paced just right and the sugar image sticking through to the end
“wavy like heated air rising on pavement in a hot summer sun” Wonderful line!
The imagery is brilliant! I loved how fluid the story was, evoking the same emotion in the reader that Charlie must have had as a witness. This was quite good!
Oh this is wonderful, so real and super real at the same time. The dialogue and responses ring so true.
Really liked this Susan. :-) Felt like I was Charlie – and Cherise – at the same time! Wonderful imagery! The ending made me want more… :-)
Clever and cinematic. Very nicely done!
So surreal — yet you painted the story so well I could see her fading. Very cool take on the theme. Peace…
I could see it happening… so well done! Thank you.
Great visuals. Loved the sugar. A fun and original story.
Wow, this was amazing, Susan, I was pulled right in, and yet you grounded it really well with the sugar and neighbor. I saw her like a mirage…
Pingback: Week #46 – Another world | 52|250 A Year of Flash